The rise of counter-proposals in engagements

The rise of counter-proposals in engagements

In the world of engagements, the traditional formula of one proposal and one engagement ring has long been the norm. However, a new trend is emerging that is reshaping how couples celebrate their commitment: the counter-proposal.

This evolving practice, initially popular within the LGBTQ+ community, is now gaining traction among heterosexual couples as well, creating a more balanced and equal exchange of love and commitment.

What is a counter-proposal?

A counter-proposal involves both partners proposing to each other at the same event or through separate, unique proposals. This approach allows both individuals in the relationship to experience the joy and excitement of proposing and being proposed to. Instead of one engagement ring, there are usually two, symbolising the mutual commitment and love shared between partners.

Why the shift towards counter-proposals?

The rise of counter-proposals can be attributed to several factors:

  • Equality and mutual respect: Counter-proposals promote a sense of equality in the relationship. Both partners express their love and commitment in their unique ways, making the engagement process more inclusive and balanced.
  • Personalisation: Each partner can plan a proposal that reflects their personality and the relationship's unique aspects. This personalisation adds a special touch, making the engagement even more memorable.
  • Changing traditions: As societal norms evolve, so do traditions. The counter-proposal concept aligns with the modern view of relationships, where both partners are equally involved in significant milestones.

How to plan a counter-proposal

Planning a counter-proposal requires thoughtfulness and creativity. Here are some tips to help you create a memorable and meaningful moment:

  • Understand your partner: Consider what makes your partner happy and tailor your proposal to their preferences and interests. The goal is to create an authentic experience for them and your relationship.
  • Don't compare: Each proposal should be unique and heartfelt. Avoid comparing your proposal to your partner's. Focus on expressing your love and commitment in a way that feels genuine to you.
  • Keep it a surprise: Even if your partner anticipates a counter-proposal, try to maintain an element of surprise. Plan your proposal discreetly to ensure your partner experiences the same thrill and excitement you did.
  • Get help if needed: If planning isn’t your strong suit, don’t hesitate to ask friends or family or even hire a professional to help you organise the proposal. Most wedding planners will happily organise your unique proposal(s). The important thing is that the moment is special and well-executed.


The trend of counter-proposals reflects a shift towards more egalitarian and personalised engagements. By allowing both partners to participate in the proposal process, couples can start their journey together with mutual respect and shared experiences. Whether you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community or in a heterosexual relationship, a counter-proposal is a beautiful way to celebrate your love and commitment.

As this trend grows, it highlights the importance of evolving traditions to reflect modern values and the diverse ways couples express their love. So, if you’re considering popping the question, why not consider a counter-proposal and make the moment truly special for both of you?

Next: Ready to start planning your wedding?


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